Monday, January 29, 2007

Sound the flags!

I actually made something that tasted good! It's been quite the pilgrimage this week. To give you the highlights - first there was the nasty soup that smelled enough like dog food that I haven't had the guts to taste it yet. Then one night I made a "pizza" of sorts (to completely defame the name). We had company and everyone else was eating real pizza. So I made this whole wheat biscuit dough for a crust and made this nasty home made pizza sauce and put veggies on top. Well, it turns out the little tar crust was supposed to have 4 tsp. of baking powder as opposed to baking soda. It seemed like an exfoliater of sorts... anyway, I'm continuing to eat it but it's not pleasant. Then I bought some healthy salad dressing 2ce but they were both revolting. But anyway, tonight I made some chicken barley soup with a pile of veggies and it turned out quite good. And it only took till 9:00...

Okay, onto something interesting. Let's see - the only thing I remember from John Tesh is where the name WD-40 came from. I think some of you probably know this already - something about it taking the company 40 tries to get the Water Displacement formula right. Oh, I do remember one more thing - your key to a blissful marriage is to e-mail your spouse throughout the day hashing through all your junk so you can enjoy your evening.

Onto something light and airy - a much older and wiser lady shared this story with me and I think it's okay to post here, but it is a bit more crass than usual so beware. I got such a huge bang out of it that I just couldn't keep it to myself. Okay, so a friend was telling me this true story, as told to her by the main character. Once upon a time long ago there was an older, conservative Mennonite lady who went to the shoe store to buy a new pair of shoes. As was the custom back in the day, the nice man measured her shoe, then went to the back room to find a pair for her to try on. As was also the custom back in the day, the friendly man put the new shoe on the lady so she could try it out. As he lifted her leg slightly, the lady, (ahem) farted. Well, she was so embarrassed, distraught, and humiliated, that when the friendly man went back to the shoe room to find her another shoe, she bolted from the store and sought refuge in her car. But alas, her heart sank as she realized that she had left her purse in the store. So she had to go back in and face the friendly man. So she re-entered the store, obviously completely consumed by the whole terrible ordeal, and approached the friendly man. The man asked, "Can I help you Ma'am?" and she replied, "Yes, I believe I left my fart in here." Then I don't what the man said, but hopefully he said, "Oh yes, it's right over here on the chair."

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Good night.

10 comments:

Jenni said...

I laughed, I cried, it moved me, Bob!! Hoo boy, that's a good one.

Anonymous said...

i wish you wouldn't tell such thinly disguised stories about me.

Rhonda said...

ALL good things to know - thank you for sharing. I am just about to e-mail you a recipe.

Melissa said...

too funny! hehe
Have a great week!

Jenni said...

I read the story to Keith and the boys this afternoon adn I really did laugh 'til I cried!

Anonymous said...

Hee, hee -- great story! Such pleasure to be derived from others' misfortunes (just pray that irony doesn't have it in for us).

~ Joy

Sabrina said...

I decided I'd just read people's blogs tonight and not comment because I don't have much time, but oh my, your blogs make me laugh! I'm with Robyn in the shoe thing. (I'm several posts behind) I bought a pair of Nikes at least 6, maybe 7 years ago. Yes, they need replaced now, but they are still the most comfortable shoes I own. It took me FOREVER to find them and I paid ALOT of money for them, but it was worth it. (and I do use them)

Love the cooking stories, please keep them coming!

Rhonda said...

what's up?

Anonymous said...

i just wanted to say thanks for all the john tesh news. i find it quite enriching. i wish you all the best in your vegetable and organic chicken eating...sorry you have to go through this.

Anonymous said...

I DREAMED about this story last night! Yikes. The people in the story were somebody I knew (don't remember now who it was). The lady was married to the salesman or something wacky like that. Anyway, just thought I'd share that. : )