Monday, March 23, 2009
Five Years
I'm sure the current rate of blogging won't continue very long, but here I am again. What I'd really like right now is to have this thoughtful and beautifully written tribute to my mom to share. But I don't feel like I have that at all. All I have is some random thoughts and emotions that have been buzzing around for awhile in my head. More like a messed up hodge podge of stuff. I can't believe it's been 5 years today since she went "home." I remember the details of that day better than if it was yesterday, but at the same time, in some ways it feels like 50 years since I've been able to sit and talk with Mom. Time does make some things feel better, but at the same time, it makes some things more difficult. The feeling that she's just getting farther and father away and at times that makes me miss her more and more. I think I've thought about her and missed her more in the past year because I've wanted her to be able to meet Dave and know who he is. I'd love to talk to her about marriage stuff and how the first year is going. So anyway, I feel sort of at a loss for eloquent words this time around. I feel like I should say something super spiritual about all the peace I have and how I'm glad she's in a better place. But that's not what feels sincere right now either. Today I just really miss her and wish she was here. I'm happy for all the great memories and sad for the ones I wish I could change. I treasure her prayers for me and how often she prayed with and for me growing up. Dave mentioned Mom's prayers for him on his blog and he's right. I know she prayed all the time for the person I would marry eventually. I truly was blessed to have her as my mom and daily I feel blessed that God answered her prayers and gave me Dave - the most caring and kind hubby around!
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11 comments:
Thinking of you Rachel. I miss her too and often feel sad that we never were able to develop that "mom-in-law" relationship. She really was a remarkable woman, which has been carried down to her daughters : ) Love you!
amen, sista! please don't dis your post. i really like it and thanks for sharing!!! love you!
Hi Rach
Godly mom's prayer's go along way! I believe they still have a huge hold of our lives.
Thanks for sharing your heart!
Thanks Rachel, with tears in my eyes I miss her too, I'm thinking her and Doris are reminensing eh? you do have other "moms" who do pray for you and will listen to your marraige stuff:) I know its not the same, my moms been gone for 11 years in May and I still miss her.
love ya,
Twila
i'm glad you wrote all of that! i was thinking when you said that it feels like she's farther and farther away, that also every day is one day closer to seeing her again! imagine that wonderful day!
Rachel,I tried to reply on Jenni's blog too, but I don't think it went through ??
Thank you for your honest thoughts !
I miss your Mom, and think of her often.
I have been crocheting "Scrubbies", the last couple weeks. It made me think of her alot. She wrote the instructions down for me on a 3x5 card.
She also taught me how to make pot holders, one afternoon while I visited her, just the fall before she passed away. Precious memories !!
Barb and I had alot of fun leading the Caring and Sharing Weight support group, many years ago; still think about it sometimes ! :) Sondra
very touching post, rachel. i can't imagine how much you must miss her.
This is late, but I read your post late...Thank you for sharing. I like hearing what's inside of you, and I can only imagine that you don't have all the words you need. I loved the pictures Jenni posted of your mom.
Hi, dear Rachie. My week of fasting is over so I can read your blog again. : ) I'm glad we got to chat some yesterday. I tried to leave a comment on Dave's blog about your mom, but he doesn't allow anonymous ones apparently so anyway, what I was gonna say is that yes, I'm quite certain that Barb prayed for him since we spent so many evenings wondering where on earth he might be while we ate our peanut butter ice cream. : ) Thanks for sharing her and letting her kind of be a mom to me in Red Lake. Love you!
Thinking of you! I have so many great memories of your mom. That crazy game that we used to always play with her. I don't even know what it was called, but it was fun. It is hard to believe it has been 5 years.
Oh Rachel, forgive me for being so slow to catch up on your posts. I just finished laughing hysterically at your other one and now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Thanks for sharing your heart!! Your are Loved!
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