Baby talk

Well, I have about a half hour to see what I can get down here. I'm going to have to type fast. And sorry, no pictures tonight, but I'll try to put some on soon. Wow, where to start. I'll try to fill you in on the baby story without giving too many gory details. We went in to the hospital early Friday morning to be induced. My doctor had wanted to induce me the Monday before that because she was concerned about my fluid levels and also that the baby was getting too big. The latest weight estimate was 8 lbs. 8 oz. I was hoping to go into labour before that but I didn't and that weekend I just didn't feel good about going in on Monday for the induction. So we stressed about it, made phone calls, decided to wait and talk to the doctor on Monday. I was freaking out and nervous since we had gone against what she wanted. She was disappointed, but very gracious about it all and said she's recheck me on Monday and induce Friday if I hadn't gone on my own yet. Well, that wed. I went in for another ultrasound and this time my fluid level was more than fine and the new weight estimate was 7 lbs. 7 oz. Hmmmm... She still was going to induce Friday and by that point, we didn't want to push it. The following Wed. I started getting regular contraction and was feeling SO relieved that it seemed that I was going to go on my own and not need the induction. Thurs. the contractions were much less. = ( Bummer. So we ended up going in Friday. (Sorry for ALL the details. This is going to get long... just skip around if you're bored) So they started me on the pitocin and things started happening. The monitor that showed my contractions wasn't working right and was giving wrong information. The nurse I had was young and unhelpful and that was all rather frustrating although I remember not being very involved in that whole discussion. We were using a doula and I know her and Dave talked about it and asked repeatedly for something different. We eventually got a new nurse and she was really good. Also a different monitor. Oh, the idea was that I really wanted to go natural and we had been working with this doula who was really supportive, knowledgeable, ect. I also knew that if things got out of control, I'd be okay with getting an epidural, I just really didn't want a c-section. So anyway, the pit got things going, but little miss Aleah wasn't tolerating it very well. Apparently her heart rate would stay low for too long while I was on it. They backed off of it till I was going totally on my own and was having really hard contractions about every 3 minutes apart. I had progressed quickly from about 2 cm to 6 cm and that was good news. I was glad to be off the pit and going on my own, but the contractions we're getting pretty unbearable so I was glad that I had the 3 minutes in there. Then they decided that having them that far apart was not enough to keep things moving so they were going to add just a bit of pitocin. I was NOT impressed. I mean, if you have to you have to, but I could not imagine tolerating the contractions if they were coming any faster. I had already been moaning about an epidural and was tempted to say I wanted one for sure if they were adding pitocin, but I kept going awhile longer. The contractions, well, um, it's hard to describe. They continued to increase in intensity (both pain and pressure) and started coming about every minute. Um, they were totally awful and it was worse than I ever imagined if I'm being honest. I was nearly going out of my mind with the pain and knew that I was only at 6 so this was far from over. At that point I said I wanted an epidural for sure. I was disappointed and felt bad because the doula, Dave, and I all three were really wanting to go natural and I felt like I was failing. At the same time, I knew I couldn't keep going. So about 6 contractions after that decision, I got the epidural and it was as though I died and went to heaven. marvelous. I just laid there resting for awhile. My doctor came in at one point and said, "We have to turn the epidural off, the baby is not responding well to it." At that point the thought of going back to that level of pain - oh my - I was thinking - just give me a section now then! But I didn't say that. They decided to just back off it a little and that worked. However, I still wasn't progressing at all and the baby was not moving down like she should have. Which is so confusing because the contractions I was feeling were like later stage, pushing type things, even though I was only at a 6. So the doc told me she'd give me an hour and if I hadn't progressed, we were looking at a c-section. They couldn't increase the pit because of how baby was responding to it. So it didn't leave many options. I was disappointed, but we talked about the options and the fact that things can turn around pretty fast too. Well, turned out they didn't and around 7 they were prepping be for surgery. I couldn't believe it. I mean, all the signs the week before said I was so ready for labour and I was really hoping a little pitocin would just jump start things. But no. Anyway, the c-section was a rather intense experience. It all felt so surreal. It wasn't what I wanted, but at the same time, we finally knew we would be able to meet this baby within minutes. I got to watch them lift her out and saw she was a she about the time that Dave announced it. I was pretty surprised, thinking most of the pregnancy that she would be a he. And I could also tell right away that this was no big baby. She looked SO tiny! It was so awesome hearing her cry for the first time and seeing all her fuzzy blond hair. Her weight was 6 lbs. 14 oz. Not the huge baby they were expecting. So that didn't explain why I wouldn't progress. I asked the doctor about her position and she said that was fine as well. So it really didn't make sense. They only thing my doctor could say was that I probably have a pelvis that not shaped right for delivery and should maybe just plan on having c-sections from now on. wow. A few thoughts about the whole experience in hindsight. I really really like my doctor. She is a Christian, is wonderful interpersonally, and took great care of me through the whole ordeal. However, in hindsight it's so easy to see how there is such a different mindset about childbirth from practice to practice. This hospital is very pro-intervention, will barely let you go a day past your due date, very high c-section rate, etc. Looking at all the info we have now, there's no way I was "overdue." I had a tiny baby and everything was looking good before I was induced. I know a lot of people who have babies 2 weeks early and they weigh what mine did one week late. So is it possible that everyone just has a unique time table and trying to force a pregnancy into fitting into one specific due date isn't wise? Interestingly, a friend of mine here who was due 2 weeks later than I was just had her baby today - a 7 plus pound baby girl. Clearly she was READY to go about 2 weeks before her date - more ready than I was one week after my due date. Also the doula said there's a theory that babies themselves sort of determine the labour they need - some can handle and fast and furious labour and others can't. I was starting to have mild contractions on my own and it could be that little miss needed that to go on for another week before she was ready to move. Clearly she could have waited a while longer weight wise. Anyway, we chose the doctor we did and felt like by Friday we had to respect what she wanted to do, but looking back on it all, I would say I have a lot of unanswered questions and things I'm curious about. Of course it's possible that I could have waited and gone into labour on my own and still ended up needing a c-section. Who knows. Anyway, there's my thoughts on that. We spent 3 nights in the hospital.

Okay, I have a funny story to tell you about night 2 in the hospital. I'm starting a new paragraph so if you wanted so skip all that boring stuff up there, you'll for sure catch this. Saturday we were having a hard time with the feeding thing and I was exhausted. I really wanted to have Aleah in the room with us most of the time and we did for the most part, but there were 2 times when we really needed some sleep and asked if she could go to the nursery for a couple hours. The middle of the night Saturday was one of those times - just made it through a traumatic feeding and wanted a couple hours of sleep before the next one. So I sent her away, bawling because I'm a terrible mom and feeling awful about it. But the sleep was nice. This was around 2. Around 5 in the morning, the nurse wheeled the little baby bed back in the room and I got ready to start feeding away. I woke up Dave to bring me the baby. I was looking in the bed and thought - hmmm... they changed her clothes - she must have puked or something. And I noticed things in her bed that weren't ours. Odd. Dave brought sweet little baby to me and I looked, under the cover of darkness... looked again... um... Houston, we have a problem. Cute child, but definitely NOT MINE. I looked at that little nose and mouth and it was so clearly not Aleah. Um, wow - speaking of her, I wonder where she is right now and who's feeding her!?! I called Dave to come over and showed him and we checked the little guys bracelet - not my name on there! We were like freaking out but so amused by the whole thing as well - I mean, what a story. When does stuff like this ever really happen to someone you know? It's such a movie thing! So I rang for the nurse - she was a great nurse and one of our favorites - couldn't be mad at her! The system is that you ring for the nurse and they say - can I help you, and you announce what you need. Like I'm going to announce that over the loudspeaker. (ha - it's not really a loudspeaker of course, but I don't know if other people hear or not) So I said, Um, could you come in here? She asked what I needed and I just said - um, can you come in here? So she came and I'm holding this little guy and I looked at her and said, "Um, this isn't my baby." Oh, the look of horror on that woman's face. She felt absolutely awful and probably saw her job options flash before her eyes. She said she hadn't turned on the light to check the bracelet and his ID number was one off from ours. She informed us she was NEVER ever going to do that again. She got him out of there in such a hurry. And apparently our little girl wasn't taken anywhere else and just slept though the whole thing. nice. = )

So anyway we have now survived the first day at home. It went pretty well with tons of bodily fluids involved. At one point today I was feeding her and she had a big ol poop. So I was carrying her to change that while she puked all over and it was running down my hand and onto the floor. Set her down and sorta cleaned that up and tried to change her - got her diaper off and she peed all over which collected in a nice pool on the changing pad and ran all over, up her back. Fun times. But we are totally enjoying her. She seems really responsive to me - like when she's in the right mood and you talk to her, she'll just stare and take it all in. And tonight she smiled right at me when I was talking to her. What? I didn't think they did that at 4 days. She looks just like Dave's baby pictures when you look at her straight on - their mouths are identical - turned downward and a little longer on the left side. crazy. But I think her profile looks more like my side of the family. I don't see much of me in her though. Anyhoo, those are my thoughts for now. I'm off to feed little bambino and I'll try to get pics on here soon. My sister is coming tomorrow night! Whooo hooooooo!!!