Can't sleep, might as well blog...

So tonight around 7 I curled up on the couch to read about the joy of giving birth and woke up at 11. SHOOT! Now it's almost 3 and I'm wide awake. I tried to sleep, but Kumquat was rearranging the furniture I believe, while doing gymnastics and hubby was snoring ... and I got myself worked up by things I read before going to sleep. SO, here I am. I'm sure I don't have much coherent to say, but felt like floating some things out there. I went to bed feeling bla and sad about life. But I probably can't explain why very well but maybe I'll just ramble a bit (and regret it in the morning? who knows...) I got so discouraged on Facebook tonight, I think I just need to stop for awhile. So health care, I'll just utter the forbidden words - yikes. I felt like commenting all over the place and letting my opinions be known, but it just felt like what's the point really? The thing that got to me and felt quite depressing is how polarized this country really is and how when we should be working together and looking for solutions to a problem that everyone knows exists, we're not. There just seems to be so much anger and it feels like people will never ever agree and what's the point and it all seems really depressing to me (nice sentence, eh). It's like you can barely even discuss it rationally with people of differing views. It's maybe is a dumb thing to be depressed about, but right now at this moment, feels very real. One of my facebook friends posted this on her page and I really can't improve on it at all, so I'm just going to repost it here - some really good thoughts I think:

"So, healthcare reform passed. I hate to say this, but I'm really disappointed with the way much of the Christian population has responded to the news. Hear me out. I listened to a sermon on Friday about a Christian's submission to government. You can listen to it here. I urge you to listen to it. It will be 40 minutes well spent. The speaker is the lead pastor of the church James and I have been attending.

The main point of the sermon that I want to write about is found in the following verse:
Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. - 1 Peter 2:17 (ESV)

The person who was the emperor when Peter penned those words was Nero. Yes, Nero. The very same Nero who executed Christians. The apostle Peter says to honor that man. Take a minute to think to think about the things you have said over the past few days about President Obama, Nancy Peloci, and your own congressmen/represenatives

over the past few days. Was it "honoring" when you compared our president to Lenin or when you compared him to a murderer or when you called the Madame Speaker a liar? I don't mean to offend you, and if you are getting angry at my words your beef is not with me. Your beef is with the Man who penned the Holy Scriptures.

Here's another thing to think about while you are steaming mad about healthcare reform. Go back to the first century in Rome. You are standing in a Roman Amphitheater. It is loud and crowded. There are Roman soldiers and lions. You see a woman on her knees in the middle of all the chaos. You go to talk to her. Her name is Blandina. You start to tell her about how bad things are here in the US in the year 2010 because we are going to have some changes to our healthcare system. After ranting for a while, it occurs to you to ask her what is troubling her. It turns out that she is about to be fed to the lions on account of her faith. How's healthcare reform sound now? Honor the emperor. Honor our President.

I do understand that the new law may result in more abortions, which is a travesty. If that is what your main problem with the legislation is, then take up the cause for the unborn. . .but "Honor Everyone." And remember God has placed our leaders in authority, and it is God who is in control of all things.
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Romans 13:1"

Okay, back to me writing again and I can't change the font or italics for some reason. Anyway, I know that my hope is not in some health care plan, but I have to remember that my security is also not in living in a country where debate is always fair, where each party always wants to listen to and respect the views of the other, and where people, especially Christians can work together striving for justice and real solutions to the issues. All of those things are what really bother me right now more than the health care issue itself. Okay, moving along...

I also read some really sad and/or traumatic birth stories right before bed. Why did I do this? I know not! It either causes a lot of fear or I just feel almost guilty at the thought of having a healthy baby when there's so much heartache out there. And then I remember I'm not guaranteed that and the fear starts again. Mostly, I just prayed for the people I read about which I think is the wisest thing anyway. I couldn't help but feeling really sad though. I can't imagine what they are going through and I hope there is an extra amount of grace for them!

Oh boy, I have to get up in 3 hours. This is going to be such a fun day. yippie! I'm really excited that this is my last week of working full time. After this week, I'll be working probably 2 - 3 days a week. I'm also excited that my brother and niece are coming to visit this weekend. I'm sure they'll love hanging out with me and my wild pace of life these days, and stopping for potty breaks every half hour. But we shall have fun regardless. Well, I should try to sleep now. Thanks for listening. I'll probably read this tomorrow and find it doesn't make much sense...